settling down at sunny california

hello sunny singapore. i am adapting pretty well here at oceanside, california. the people are great, a fun bunch of people to stay with. i guess it is still too early to make a judgement because we are staying at separate single rooms now. when there is more interactions among us in the one big house, hopefully conflicts will be minimized.

i dont feel homesick yet but i definitely miss him, hanging out drinking and lomo with friends and the food. OMG! i do not know how to describe the food here. no worries! i am eating fine and always wanting to cook at the hotel now.

my friends in the group do not play with lomo. a few seem interested to find out why i am holding onto a plastic toy camera. but i am proud to say i am the only lomo fan in the group. sometimes, i feel quite paiseh to take the lomo shots in usa cos i am the only one. my dear lomo friends, i hope u can understand this. the weird stares we get from people. it feels a lot more comfortable when a group of lomographers go shooting together. oh wells, i cant wait to go to the lomo shop at LA.

i miss him. :( i dont think i need to write much about this. but i really do miss him. aug, please come quickly!

so long goodbye

with a heavy heart, i bid good bye to confused weather Singapore and hello to sunny California.

i know my sister and parents, especially my mum, are worried for me. afterall, this is my first long trip away from home. dont worry! i will take good care of myself.

i cant bear to leave him in Singapore too. :( how i wished i can pack him in my limited space luggage and carry him to usa with me. i want to be by his side. if "you" happen to be reading this, i just want to tell you that i will miss you and stay strong. wait for me okay!

lastly, to my wonderful brunch of friends, THANK YOU for all your love!! you guys do take care and ask him out okay? hahaha.

next entry, california!

never again

i have never felt like this before. i know it is not life threatening but it really pains my heart to see her suffering. i dont know if it is really not painful at all or she was just faking it to make us feel better. please tell me if it is really hurting. i want to share your pain and burden.

i totally regretted not knowing more stuff. i had totally neglected her complaints and concluded everything to be because she is getting old. i never bother to take her concerns a step further to find out what was really wrong. the signs were all there but i chose to ignore. what is the point of studying and getting a honours degree when i cant even protect her.

it really pains my heart to see her leg now. i know it is not a life threatening condition but i dont want to experience this feeling anymore.

i suddenly feel that i am a selfish daughter and girlfriend. how can i leave my old parents here in singapore for a year, while i go for this once in a lifetime overseas experience? how can i ask him to wait for me for a year?

i feel selfish.

yet another last tuition and 24th birthday

time check. 12 more days to go before i am off to oceanside, living my california dream.

i had recently ended another tuition with this super nice girl. i had only taught her for a year so i did not feel anything when the lesson ended. i was surprised that she had prepared a gift for me and was really touched by this simple appreciative gesture of hers. reading the letter she had penned brought all the emotions to tears.

she asked me why must i leave? secretly i have been asking myself this a few times recently. the legal documents had been signed and there is no way backing up now. i am starting to miss the familiar faces i see everyday for the past few months in the new and flexible HP working environment. i am starting to appreciate my parents a lot more. i am also missing him now.

i really appreciate the hardwork that he had done to try to spend as much quality time with me for the past few days. the cupcake themed birthday celebration with lovely bears cupcakes and cupcake birthday cake. thanks dear for the wonderful cupcake bash! =)

one year older now, time to be wiser. to start off, start packing!!!!